I Don’t Get It
Decided to splurge a little on myself tonight and went to Dunkin Donuts for a mid-shift snack. I know the guy who works there and he’s very nice. This sounds like a good thing, however many people with Aspergers like me would actually prefer a stranger to a familiar face. Familiar faces tend to try to be friendly and joke around, which doesn’t go over well when you can’t figure out sarcasm.
Professor Frink could have made millions off of the aspie community.
I step up to the counter and begin to order myself a coffee cake muffin and as I continue my list of fattening treats, the guy behind the counter tells me that I can’t have any of those. I know from previous trips to this DD that this guy likes to joke around so at first I kinda laugh it off, but he’s still telling me I can’t have them. Now I start thinking… maybe he’s serious? Don’t normal people end the joke when everybody laughs? He’s not getting my muffin. I think he’s serious. Something is wrong with those muffins.
Um, on second thought I’ll just have a french cruller…
So I ask him, “Is there something wrong with the muffins?” And he laughs, “Nah, man, I’m just messing with ya.” Now I know he’s just trying to be funny. But I’m an aspie, so um, yeah… no. Didn’t get it. Never will.
This happens to me all the time. At least once or twice every single day, someone tells me a story that ends in a joke, or at least I interpret it as a joke from the way they are talking. However, to me, it’s not a joke because it’s simply not funny. But I figure that because I’m the aspie, I must have missed the joke, so I laugh anyway. Most of the time I’m right on, but it has led to some awkward moments.
When you said your mom was in a better place now, I thought you meant Hawaii or something.
UPDATE: One of the comments below is just so WTF, I can’t even believe it’s serious. In no way do I condone the ideas in the comment. I approved it simply because it’s just too crazy for me to be the only person to ever read it.
Posted on June 22, 2013, in Uncategorized and tagged antisocial, Aspergers, Aspie, Dunkin Donuts, sarcasm, Social Anxiety, uncomfortable. Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.
Inside the Mind of an Aspie 
Such a great post … and especially the photos and captions! I laughed at the last one. I’ve had so many experiences like the ones you describe (even at Dunkin’ Donuts, which I used to frequent when I lived on the East Coast). I think this is another example where the decision how to react in a social situation (to judge whether a statement is sarcastic, what the appropriate reaction should be, etc.) has to be made way too quickly for an Aspie.
I think maybe he was trying to be funnie and spontaneously cute but came out awfully wrong and does this happen often? I mean because he most likely recognized you but some guys are just BAD at spontaneous cumbusion and just ended up crashing & burning. On the plus side he’ll either learn from it and reflect in it, or ignore it & comb his hair. I think the muffin is awesome! It looks a little messed up but totally worth it…not to gross you out with LIFE but most of my girlfriends have told me (years later) that they have had intercourse with their father’s…Totally worth it, haha, I dont even look for these women, they find me! My partner now has a smile that changes the world, when it looks hopeless she puts on a smile and just keeps swimming…seems to work and I let her lead now. Im not sure what exactly an aspie is and I guess I will go look it up, but I think you may tie men’s shoelaces together somehow in how you present yourself…too cool for school, its not their fualt:)