I’m a Failure

So today I found out that I failed miserably on a school assignment. It was a pretty big thing, and I’m really upset over it. My teacher is giving me another shot at the assignment, but I’m just so mad about it. I should have gotten it right the first time. The answer was right in front of my face if I had just taken the time to look for it.

Needless to say, I’m not taking it well. As I’ve blogged about previously, I can sometimes be a perfectionist. If I’m doing something, it’s gotta be right. I can’t fail, otherwise all of my effort has been one big waste of time. Because of this, I went into “IT’S THE END OF THE WORLD” mode in response to my failing grade.

Don’t ever ask me what’s the worst that can happen. Because huge bunnies could attack New York City.

It comes down to the fact that I don’t like looking stupid. I hate not knowing something, and I hate it even more when other people know I don’t know something. It’s why I lie and say I know where a street is when someone is talking about a location that I’ve never been to. It’s why I try to fix any mistakes I make with as little fanfare and attention as possible.

Nothing to see here, people.

It’s difficult for me, but I just have to accept the fact that I’m not and never will be perfect. There will always be things in this world that I don’t know, and these are opportunities to learn. And most important, I can be smart without having all of the right answers all of the time.

 

Top 12 of ’12

In honor of the culmination of the year 2012 (WE SURVIVED A MAYAN ALIEN ATTACK, OR WHATEVER THAT WHOLE THING WAS ABOUT!!!), this is a countdown of my top 12 favorite posts I made during the past year.

Yes, this is my blog’s version of a clip show.

Enjoy!

12. The Self Aware Aspie  (12/23/12) – how a diagnosis helps an Aspie and others understand their situation.

11. Feeling Out of Place (8/15/12) – I get the feeling that I don’t belong.

10. Friday Night Anti-Socialite  (11/3/12) – I am EXTREMELY uncomfortable at a social gathering.

9. Like I’m Not Even There  (4/6/12) – Nobody listens to my awesome ideas.

8. Perfectionism (7/15/12) – Why can’t everything be right?

7. The Dentist (1/25/12) – I suffer through a trip to the dentist.

6. Dunkin Donuts Ruins My Day (1/10/12) – It’s the little things that drive me mad.

5. Hi, Nice to Meet You. By the Way, I Have Aspergers. (10/15/12) – How does one drop the Aspie bomb?

4. I’M NORMAL!!! (for once) (10/16/12) – I surprise myself with my unexpectedly rational behavior.

3. The Challenges of Being an Aspie and a Parent  (6/28/12) – You think being an NT parent is hard?

2. Unseen Health Risks of Aspergers (2/23/12) – A doctor’s office can be a scary place.

1. Facing the Truth  (8/6/12) – Aspies will save the world!