Monthly Archives: April 2014
Of course, right after I make the resolution to post more, things happen that will make that tough to do for a little while.
There was a death in the family yesterday, my father-in-law. I realize that the impact that his death has on my blogging abilities is probably the least important thing in the world right now, although the Aspie part of my brain is pissed at why this has to happen to me right now. But I know that’s insensitive; I can’t control how my Aspie brain thinks, but I can give it a hard slap in the face when it gets out of line.
Anyways, due to dealing with certain things (funeral, family fallout, etc.), my posting may need to take a hiatus again. Hopefully not months like last time.
Take care, and well wishes for everyone out there.
Think about this for a second: when you are pulling yourself out of bed, trying to jumpstart your morning with a gallon of coffee before you drive off to work in bumper-to-bumper traffic, I’m tucked into bed sleeping s nice and comfortable bed.
See, I work midnights. So, while it’s true that I’m sleeping while you are headed to work, I’ve been working all night long while you have been sleeping. So we are even. Plus, I have to now try to sleep with a huge bright ball of fire in the sky shining light through my window directly onto my eyelids. And how did you sleep last night?
Working midnights isn’t easy. It feels like my whole day disappears before it even happens. I get home in the morning, and my family is already awake. When it’s my turn to go to sleep, I have no idea what to say – Goodnight? Good morning? Good sleep period for me but not you? So I go to sleep, and I wake up mid-afternoon, when it’s pretty much too late to do anything important. At least that’s what my lazy overworked brain tells me when I get up.
Being an Aspie probably doesn’t make things any easier. I’m acutely aware that my body doesn’t want to be awake at 3:25 am, but it’s my job… literally. Staying on my schedule helps a little, but on my days off am I supposed to stay up all night by myself while the rest of my family sleeps?
I may like being alone, but I also like spending time with my family. I know… weird, right?
And the worst part about this week is that work has been so busy, I feel like I’ve been beat up when I get home. So freakin’ tired, I swear. And then I see everyone else – fresh out of bed, relaxed and refreshed, ready to take on the world. And I can’t help but think to myself…
Yeah, I know. I suck. I’ve only posted twice this year, I know. I really suck.
I had some stuff take over my life and got distracted and busy and all the other words I can use as excuses but don’t really work to get me off the hook of one plain and simple fact: I need to post more. I had a good rhythm going, but it got all messed up and the Aspie in me totally lost my groove.
So, I’m going to get the groove back. I’m going to make it a habit to post once a day. That will get me back in it. So you’ll probably be getting a bunch of annoying “boring shit happened to me today” posts. But it’s better than no posts, right? I think so.
Apologies for the dead-ness of this blog lately, and future apologies for the annoying-ness of this blog soon. 🙂 But I’m back!