Performance Enhancing Drugs


I’m not a bad guy. Really, I’m not. I’m just under a ton of pressure. Most of you wouldn’t understand just how intense the pressure to perform can be. And everyone else is doing it, too. I just did it to level the playing field. If I didn’t do it, I wouldn’t have been able to fit in. Yes, I am finally ready to admit it – I have used performance enhancing drugs.

Specifically, I took a Xanax in order to make a phone call.


Ok, A-Rod. I admit it… I took two.

Yeah, talking on the phone is really that bad for me.

I had to make a phone call to schedule a school appointment. I was getting sick to my stomach because I was so nervous about it. I didn’t want to sound too casual, but I didn’t want to sound too stuffy either. I had no idea what to say or how to introduce myself. I was starting to panic. I almost backed out. But I HAD TO DO IT. So I looked myself in the mirror and told myself to get a grip and do what had to be done.


Um… I don’t even know what to… let’s just move on, shall we?

 So I took some anti-anxiety meds in order to make my phone call. And it worked! I was able to calm myself down enough to get a grip and dial the phone. Of course, I got the guy’s voicemail, which seemed like a blessing until I realized that I’m probably going to have to call this guy again eventually.

At least then, I’ll know how to prevent a full blow panic attack before calling.


Posted on August 21, 2013, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. I feel the same way i cant even begin to describe my dislike of the phone.

    I hate THE PHONE. ESPECIALLY making appointments. HELL its all of them.

    I am an aspie too, btw, though I am not so comfortable with the developmental history of the diagnosis as a whole.

    • Usually when it comes to doctor’s appointment and stuff like that, I have my wife do it for me. This appointment was for a professional matter, and it would have looked really weird if I hadn’t called myself. I still almost talked myself into having her do it for me, anyway. 🙂

      What do you mean about the “developmental history of the diagnosis”? Are you talking about the DSM, or something else? Just curious 🙂

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