Feeling Stupid


It really is a no-win situation.

There were some issues with the bank that needed to get taken care of this morning… ok, fine, I’ll admit it. I forgot my PIN number for my bank card. As if I wasn’t already feeling stupid for the other stuff that I’m about to talk about. Thanks a lot, dickwad.


Yes. Yes it did.

But I digress.

In order to get my PIN number reset, I had to call the bank and deal with (errrrg) customer service. This is not one of my many talents. In fact, I usually come off sounding more awkward than that friend of yours who asks you to be the best man at his wedding after his fiancee has already cheated on him with you. We’ve all been there, right?


“So how are things going with the florist?”

So, this situation leaves me with only the following options:

A) Call the bank myself, and make a complete and utter ass of myself in the process

B) Ask my wife to do it.

Now many of you are saying, “Well, duh. If you can’t do it yourself, let you wife do it.” However, option B comes with a whole new set of problems. See, the customer service guy ALWAYS needs to confirm my identity before anything can be done. In order to do that, he needs to ask me to verify personal information. So my wife has to hand me the phone so I can talk to the customer service guy. There’s no escape for me, and now even the guy on the phone knows how big a douche I am.


“Hey Bill! Check it out, it’s another lame ass guy who needs his wife to use the phone for him!”

Now, bless my wife, she tries to make things better by softening the blow and telling the customer service rep flat out that I “don’t like to use the phone.” It means a lot to me that she tries, but I don’t think for one second that it makes me look any more normal in the eyes of the person on the other end of the phone. They know the deal, they know what’s up.

So, inevitably, I threw a tantrum later, because I HATE feeling stupid. I only felt better after playing a car racing game with my kids and showcasing my mad skills.


Because video games.

It is still nice to know that I have a family who cares for me – a wife who loves me enough to do the things for me that I can’t do myself, and children who will gladly have their asses handed to them on a platter so I can feel better about myself.

Posted on July 25, 2013, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. Great post, as usual. I tend to forget passwords too, so my trick is storing everything in MS Outlook, with cryptic notes to myself (so I don’t spell out the password). Of course, I’m really screwed if one day Outlook erases all my data … or I forget what my note to myself means.

    It’s interesting you prefer your wife to talk to customer service people. I’m awkward on the phone too, but better than my wife on these calls because whenever she’s on the phone, she ends up screaming at the person, whereas I approach the call rationally (or try to, at least). I approach these calls as a game: how can I convince a person who is probably a high school drop-out, gets paid minimum wage and could care less about customer service to give me what I want. It doesn’t always succeed, and I’ll admit there are times when I too end up screaming at the person. But the cool thing is, even if the person thinks I’m a weirdo and/or deficient in basic social skills, it doesn’t matter because I’ll never have to talk to them again!

  2. I do not do well on the phone at all. My wife does all that stuff and I just make sure to sign things over to allow her to manage my whatevers. It is not as if she has the extra time and energy to always be the “human” for me either. But I would just never do it at all out of fear and she ends up having to do it anyways. She’s handles the insurance companies very well.

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