Facing the Truth

When posting on this blog, I have always tried to avoid topics that may be controversial. I try my best not to offend anybody. There is an issue that I absolutely must discuss and, quite frankly, there is no easy way to say it other than just putting it right out there:

When the zombie apocalypse comes, Aspies will be the saviors of humanity.

There’s absolutely no denying it. People with Aspergers are better equipped to handle the mental stresses of a post-zombie attack world. Social skills will be valued less, while other skills that are vital to survival will become important – skills such as ingenuity, resourcefulness, and kicking serious zombie ass.

Surviving in a world overrun by the living dead will require the use of effective makeshift weapons. The fate of humanity will rest on our ability to create and use unconventional weapons. There is no group of people more well known for their out-of-the-box thinking than Aspies. For example: a neurotypical person looks ni their garage and sees a bunch of junk. I can look in the same garage and see the materials to make three different types of melee weapons, a crossbow, and a flamethrower. Who do you want on your zombie fighting team?

Aspies can also make the tough decisions when the rubber hits the road. Food supplies need rationing? An Aspie can create a comprehensive feeding schedule based on average calories required and consumed, rotation of food stock per day, and preferred flavors. An injured ally is holding you back? An Aspie can determine if the person is worth saving or not, without all those messy emotions getting in the way. Your best friend has been bitten? An Aspie has no problem killing him. He’s technically not even human anymore.

Most importantly, people with Aspergers would be the best zombie killers ever. Most people underestimate how difficult it is mentally to point a gun at something, shoot it, and kill it. It’s even harder to shoot at something that resembles a person. It’s even harder still to shoot something that, you know, used to be human. I’m willing to bet a good portion of you would wimp out. Not us Aspies. Our emotional detatchment allows us to understand that zombies are no longer humans – they are a threat to us, and must be eliminated in the most permanent way possible. True, Aspies may not look so cool walking around with earmuffs on to protect themselves from the loud gunshots, but it’s a small price to pay in order to be a complete badass in all other ways measurable.


Posted on August 7, 2012, in Aspergers. Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. *EPIC*This is completely awesome. Thank you!! lol~Drea

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