It’s Not As Bad As It Looks

The family went to a kids’ music concert yesterday and had TONS of fun. Lots of dancing and jumping around in the aisles, and my little aspie really enjoyed it. A great time was had by all.

Talking to my wife afterwards, I found out that she was a little concerned that I was having a problem with the crowd of people there (the theater was packed with people). Contrary to normal aspie behavior, I’m actually pretty comfortable in a crowd, only because there is very little focus on me as an individual. If I’m allowed to blend in and be part of the scenery, I’m okay with that. Being part of the background is a nice feeling.

(I also think that since I had the opportunity to sit in a corner and avoid sitting next to anybody helped me be comfortable a lot.)

The problem I have is when I get together with a bunch of people and I’m forced to be social with them. If there was some sort of Q&A discussion after the concert, I would have been a nervous wreck. But since everyone else’s attention was on the stage, being in the crowd didn’t bother me in the least.

I think my biggest social fear is not of being in crowds, but instead it’s sticking out in a crowd. It’s being that one guy that everyone else is looking at and thinking, “What’s that dude’s problem?” I’d rather nobody look at me… or even be completely alone.

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Posted on January 8, 2012, in Aspergers, Social Anxiety. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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